Saturday, 15 September 2007
Friday, 7 September 2007
Men's english
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
Thursday, 6 September 2007
Men are like.....
Men are like....Animals Messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but occasionally make great pets.
Men are like.....Bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
Men are like....Beer.The first sip is always bitter. No matter how many varieties you try, they are essentially the same; tasteless, full of bubbles, destabilize your metabolism and give you a headache, but somehow they linger and you either can't finish one or you can't get enough.
Men are like.....Bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
Men are like....Bras. They offer light, medium and complete support.
Men are like....Buses. They come every 15 minutes.
Men are like....Buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
Men are like....Computers. And a smart woman keeps a backup.
Men are like.....Copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
Men are like.....Curling irons. They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.
Men are like.....Fires.They go out if unattended!
Men are like....Fine wine. They start out as grapes. It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature. And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with.
Men are like.....High heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are like.....Lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion
Men are like.....Mini skirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.
Men are like....Oreos. Once you eat the cream they aren't good anymore!
Men are like.....Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table
Men are like.....Recliners.You pull the lever and they lay back
Men are like....Teeth. You ignore them - you lose them.
Husbands are like....Children They're fine if they're someone else's.
Men are like.....Bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
Men are like....Beer.The first sip is always bitter. No matter how many varieties you try, they are essentially the same; tasteless, full of bubbles, destabilize your metabolism and give you a headache, but somehow they linger and you either can't finish one or you can't get enough.
Men are like.....Bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
Men are like....Bras. They offer light, medium and complete support.
Men are like....Buses. They come every 15 minutes.
Men are like....Buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
Men are like....Computers. And a smart woman keeps a backup.
Men are like.....Copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
Men are like.....Curling irons. They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.
Men are like.....Fires.They go out if unattended!
Men are like....Fine wine. They start out as grapes. It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature. And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with.
Men are like.....High heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are like.....Lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion
Men are like.....Mini skirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.
Men are like....Oreos. Once you eat the cream they aren't good anymore!
Men are like.....Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table
Men are like.....Recliners.You pull the lever and they lay back
Men are like....Teeth. You ignore them - you lose them.
Husbands are like....Children They're fine if they're someone else's.
White wine
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Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
pharmacist about White Wine.
White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
White Wine can help ease you outof your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately, and with a regiment of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine.
White Wine may not be right for everyone.
Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine.
However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering > when you are not.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over > and over again that you love them.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers > are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically > converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are > tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are > laughing WITH you.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your > ass kicked.
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
pharmacist about White Wine.
White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
White Wine can help ease you outof your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately, and with a regiment of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine.
White Wine may not be right for everyone.
Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine.
However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering > when you are not.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over > and over again that you love them.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers > are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically > converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are > tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are > laughing WITH you.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> WARNING:> The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your > ass kicked.
Tuesday, 4 September 2007
Monday, 3 September 2007
Zuffle
Zuffle.....a verb meaning "wiping your semen stained appendages on the curtains at a posh birds house"
I have no idea if this is true just thought it was funny.
Jokes About Men
How are husbands like lawn mowers?They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
How do men exercise on the beach?By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?Make him wear shoes.
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."
How does a man show he's planning for the future?He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
How many men does it take to open a beer?None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
How do men exercise on the beach?By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?Make him wear shoes.
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."
How does a man show he's planning for the future?He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
How many men does it take to open a beer?None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
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